My Immortal
by Frafra545
Summary: Ebony Raven used to be Ebony/Enoby Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and used to explain all of her clothes, trying to kill the readers with boredom. What happens when some writer tries to write Ebony as not a Mary Sue? Basically, I'm trying to write "My Immortal" as not horrible.


_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Harry Potter universe, J.K Rowling owns that. I also don't own the original "My Immortal" fanfic by Tara Gilesbie. I'm making no profit due to this story.**_

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is not the real "My Immortal" fanfic, this is my...translation (if that's what you could call it) of that fanfic. The original is horrific, atrocious, and just plain awful. I'm trying, and probably failing, to make the story better. I will try to keep the characters in-character and I won't give you clothes descriptions that want to make you rip your hair out. It might not be good. Merlin, you might like the original better since it's an unintentional comedy. But I'll try. Also, the story is rated T and will be appropriate. The worst things would probably like "hell" or "freakin'" or "middle finger" since I'm immature.**

**Wow! That was long.**

**And now, without further adieu, "My Immortal".**

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**_Chapter One_**

Hi, my name is Ebony Raven. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I have long, waist-length, black hair with purple streaks and red tips. I have icy, blue colored eyes. I'm a vampire, I have mostly straight and white teeth, but also have very sharp, very long fangs that are quite noticeable and end up with people staring strangely at me. I have extremely pale skin, too. I'm also a witch and attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Scotland where I'm in my seventh, and final, year. My favorite color is black and that's the color of most of my clothes.

Anyway, I checked the weather outside. It was sleeting, which meant I could go outside. I was walking outside, which caused many people to stare at me since that rarely happened. I glared and stuck the middle finger at them in response.

"Hey, Ebony!" called a voice and I turned to see a guy with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a pointed face.

I recognized him, it was Draco Malfoy.

"Yeah?" I responded, raising an eyebrow.

"I-" he started but was cut off my one of my friends yelling at me to go over to them.

"Ebony! Get over here!" she called.

"Sorry, I have to go," I told him before he could finish. "Bye."

I ran over to my friends, leaving him behind me.

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_**Chapter two**_

The next day, I woke up drowsily to my magical alarm clock from someplace in Hogsmeade ringing, which was weird, since it was Saturday.

My friend, Willow, on the bed next to me groaned.

"Ebony, shut that thing off!" she moaned.

"I'm trying!" I replied, pressing the off button. However, it didn't do anything productive.

"Turn it off!"

"I'm trying!"

"Try harder!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

After about ten minutes, I finally managed to turn it off, but it didn't even matter. Willow and I were both up. We got dressed and walked out of the dormitory, out of the Slytherin Common Room, and into the Great Hall.

"Oh, yeah. I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday," said Willow, wiggling her eyebrows. A smirk on her lips.

"Yeah, so?" I demanded, feeling my face heat up.

"Do you like him?" she asked innocently.

"No! What? Not even one conversation with a guy and suddenly I like him?"

"If you didn't like him why are you blushing and why are you so defensive?"

"Shut up."

Willow laughed.

Of course, the object of my taunting came just then.

"So," said Draco, "I was about to ask you if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me yesterday before I was rudely interrupted." He glared at Willow, who snickered.

Wait...did he say Hogsmeade? With Draco Malfoy? Merlin's pants!

"Alright," I said, trying to sound cool. Obviously, I was failing because even I could hear the delight in my voice and feel the blush on my face.

"Good," he said smirking. "Ten o'clock tomorrow good?"

"That's fine."

As he walked away, Willow let out a loud laugh.

"So you don't like him?"

"Have I ever told you I hated you?" I asked her, glaring.

It only succeeded in making her laugh louder.

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**So, that's the first two chapters. I'm so bad at this; it's so hard to try and make her not a Mary Sue. She's already a Sue and it's the end of the second chapter! Ughhhh!**

**Oh well. REVIEW PLEASE! They are greatly appreciated.**

**-Frafra**


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